Why Am I Fat?

One of my younger brothers, Coby, is nearly 16 years old and is really slim verging on "skinny". He rarely finishes a meal and is the only person in my immediate family that's like this (so no idea where he gets it from). We have worried about his eating in the past but, you know, he's alive, he's not starved to death so he's obviously eating enough, isn't he? When we have asked him why he eats so little, he says "I don't like the feeling of being full". WHAT??? I LOVE feeling full and I HATE feeling hungry! I love food, all food, but my favourite is cake and chocolate. I always get to a point when dieting where I will have some kind of breakdown, it's literally like something snaps inside me, and I will gorge myself on chocolate and biscuits and cake and whatever is in my cupboards until I can't possibly eat any more. I'm unsure as to whether you can be addicted to food but it ruddy well feels like it! It takes over my life. If I'm not eating I'm thinking about what I'm going to eat next or tomorrow or what treat I can have at the weekend. 

As a fatty I have spent the last 10 or so years obsessing about my weight, struggling to lose it and always putting it back on again. I have read so much about the subject and used to spend a lot of time on a reddit sub called FatPeopleHate (it's been banned now, unsurprisingly) which was, as the title suggests, all about people hating on fat people. The reason I went on it mainly was because I was scared I'd end up on there (they used to target those who used hashtags such as #effyourbeautystandards #curvy etc and no, you didn't have to be obese to be slated, anything from a few lbs over weight and they would have something horrible to say.) But what I gained from reading their comments was how they felt about food and how different it is from my relationship with food. I'm talking mainly about people who have never been fat or had any kind of issues with their weight. Those who we call "naturally slim" and it's not always just because they have a fast metabolism, they literally just eat less. Whether that be because they have been brought up with smaller portion sizes or seeing chocolate as a weekly and not daily treat or, what mystifies me most, those that are just not fussed about food! There is a girl at my work who says that eating bores her and it is something she does because she has to. If she could get away with not eating she would. I just... can't get my head round it! 

I know there are people out there who genuinely have medical reasons why they are over weight which is really sh*t because it's harder to do anything about it but that's definitely not me (I've checked) so it's only me that can do anything about it. Ok I can lose weight, I know I can, but can I change my thought process? Will I ever get to a point where I don't feel compelled to over eat or will I always be a fat person trying to fit into a skinny person's body? It scares me that this is going to be a struggle for the rest of my life. I know people have lost weight and kept it off for years and years but do they always have to make conscious decisions not to eat bad things or does it eventually come naturally to them? 

A doctor once told me that I am an emotional eater and I think he's right. I always just say that I'm fat because I'm a greedy cow, which is only partly true. Emotional eating is where you associate food with good feelings. It makes you feel happy to eat so you eat. That is exactly how I feel! 

My favourite quote from this emotional eating article is:
"If you don’t know how to manage your emotions in a way that doesn’t involve food, you won’t be able to control your eating habits for very long. Diets so often fail because they offer logical nutritional advice, as if the only thing keeping you from eating right is knowledge. But that kind of advice only works if you have conscious control over your eating habits. It doesn’t work when emotions hijack the process, demanding an immediate payoff with food." So does this mean that I am over weight because of something psychological? If so, it can only be a good thing! It is possible to learn to control your emotions and overcome fear, anxiety, anger... so why not over eating?

I know boredom is my biggest trigger. If I am busy I can go all day without eating and hardly notice. I think this is why celebrities are so slim. If I could afford to spend all my free time shopping, I'd be sorted!

I'd love to know your experiences. How do you feel about food? Do you think you could be an emotional eater? Have you managed to lose weight and keep it off? 

Slow Cooker Beef Stew and Mash - 2pp/ 13pp

I didn't really think I was a fan of stews (memories of watery potato hash with boiled potatoes spring to mind) but they always look so nice so I decided to give it a go anyway. And loved it.

This was on another filling and healthy week so worked out at only 2pp but is a whopping 13pp if counting! Next time I think I would give the parnsips a miss and have extra veg on the side to keep the points down. Could also sacrifice 1pp of meat for a Yorkshire pudding :o

Serves 1
Ingredients
175g Tesco beef stir fry strips - 5pp
200g white potatoes - 4pp
1 x carrot - 0pp
1 x parsnip - 2pp
1/2 brown onion - 0pp
15g Flora light - 1pp
10g gravy granules - 1pp

Method
1. In a slow cooker add diced onion, chopped carrots and parnsips 200ml boiling water and the beef. Season with salt and pepper. 
2. Cook for 6 hours on low. When nearly ready to serve, check the water. If there is too much, take some out, not enough, add some then stir in gravy granules. Since you can only use a small amount of granules to thicken, it's better to have less water to start and be able to add more if required. 
3. Boil your potatoes in salted water until soft. Drain and mash with Flora.
4. Serve and enjoy!

I had mint sauce on mine too for 0pp. 

Jamaican Jerk Chicken - 2pp/ 10pp

This recipe came from here: http://simple-nourished-living.com/2012/01/skinny-delicious-southwestern-slow-cooker-chicken/ 

But I didn't have any of the south west seasoning so I Googled it and it doesn't seem to exist ready made in the UK supermarkets so I looked up how to make it and I didn't have half of the spices so I thought f*ck it, I'll use one I already have... And that is why it is now Jamaican jerk chicken instead :D

Serves 2
Ingredients
2 x chicken breasts (up to 140g each) - 6pp (free on F&H)
1 x 400g tin black beans in water (drained) - 6pp (free on F&H)
1 x 200g tin sweetcorn (drained) - 3pp (free on F&H)
1 x jar mild salsa - 2pp
40g Tesco half fat mature cheese - 3pp
Jamaican Jerk seasoning 

Method
In a slow cooker add the beans, sweetcorn and 1/2 the salsa. Massage seasoning in to chicken, add to cooker and top with the remaining salsa. Cook for 4-6 hours on low. A couple of minutes before serving, grate cheese over the chicken and allow to melt.

Easy peasy and soooooooooo tasty!

Slow and Steady...

When I joined Weight Watchers in January 2012 my main goal was to lose weight as quickly as possible before my holiday to good ol' Magalluf on 12th May. I think I did quite well in this respect losing 33.5lbs in 18 weeks and going from 14st 5.5 to 12st and a UK size 14. 

The main problem with this approach is that I didn't learn anything. I had spent those 18 weeks sticking rigidly within my daily points, drinking diet coke on nights out and if I ever dared go for a meal out I would stick to 0pp foods all day to make up for it. And I would be starving. So yes, I can drop the weight when I want, but I ain't half miserable doing it! 

After the holiday I didn't get back on plan and my weight slowly but surely crept up and up until I got to my highest weight of 15st 2 in January 2014. Even after starting again last year I still messed about and fell off the wagon around September only to put on 14 of the 21lbs I lost. Fail!

So this year, I relaxed slightly. This is not a sprint, it's a marathon. Life does get in the way sometimes and that's ok. I've allowed myself to enjoy nights out, events, restaurants, birthdays and holidays. I've allowed myself treats and used my weeklies when I needed them. Ok so my weight loss hasn't been the quickest and I still do get totally jealous of those people who have completely transformed in a matter of months but this time next year when I'm wearing my size 10 dress telling people I have lost 5 stone all that will matter is that I got there, not how quickly I did it.  

Just a small note to say I do zero exercise. I mean, none. I walk from my house to my car, car to office, sit down all day, car, home. I could really help myself more by exercising and I swear I will but wow I hate it so much!

My whole point to this is that this is the first time I have stuck to a "diet" (lifestyle change, whatevs) for more than a few weeks. Ok I have the odd day or two off plan but then I get straight back on it and can usually undo the bad within days and what a difference that makes to motivation! Knowing a couple of bad days hasn't ruined everything. I'm not suddenly gonna be 3 stone heavier again and have gone completely backwards. I feel so much more in control now and I genuinely hope this is how I will be going forward. 

Below is how I track my losses. Yes, I am insane. I work on spreadsheets every day and I ruddy love the things! So far my loss is 31.75lbs in 34 weeks averaging 0.93lbs a week, but you know what? It's been a hell of a lot easier than ever before! Saying that, I still almost had an emotional breakdown when I was hungry and had promised myself I wouldn't have cake at a friend's birthday party and my husband had curry and a selection of cakes... but it passed! Lol. 

Fajita Boats - 10pp

Serves 1

Ingredients

1/4 sachet Old El Paso Original Smoky BBQ spice mix - 1pp

50g salsa (I use Tesco mild)  - 0pp

180g chicken breast (raw) - 4pp

Sliced peppers (any colour you fancy. I like a mix)

1/2 brown onion (chopped)

2 x Old El Paso Stand N' Stuff Tortillas - 4pp

2tbsp half fat soured cream - 1pp

Fry Light

Method

Spray a frying pan with Fry Light, cut chicken into strips and cook for 10 minutes. Add onion and peppers and cook for a few more minutes until soft. Sprinkle over spice mix, stir through and cook for another minute. Add to your tortilla boats and top with salsa and soured cream. 

If you can spare extra points, sprinkle with cheese. Mmmm....

I had mine with some roasted butternut squash for 0pp. Sprinkle with salt, paprika and chilli flakes before cooking. Takes away some of the sickly sweetness.

Breville Halo Review

I get loads of people on Instagram asking me how I cook my potatoes because they look so goddamn tasty and my (not so secret) secret is.... the Breville Halo! 

As happens every December, I get sick of being over weight and swear I will do something about it in the New Year. So for Christmas I asked for some things to help me on my skinny way, one of which was this new fandangled contraption that could cook chips with 1tsp of oil and with no par boiling! Exciting stuff.  

I did have a little panic that I wouldn't end up using the thing (my Blend-Active sees the light of day once every 3 months or so) but I needn't have worried. I use it every. Single. Day.

Because I am tight with my ProPoints I never use oil. I just spray the bowl with fry light, add the potatoes, another few sprays of fry light, some salt and 30 minutes later you have really scrummy chips!

As well as the paddle which turns the chips in the bowl, you can remove it and use the wire rack (provided) meaning the Halo acts as a grill :o It takes some practice as to timings as things cook a lot faster in the Halo than under a grill or in the oven.

The bowl wipes clean with just kitchen roll though can be easily lifted out to wash should you cook anything messier than chips!

Some of the things I have cooked in my Halo:

Chips/ sweet potato chips

Roast potatoes & new potatoes

Wedges

Bacon

Sausage

Fish fingers

Chicken

Salmon

Rosted Mediterranean veg

Hash browns

Mushrooms

Butternut squash

Burgers

I have also heard of people using it for chillis, stews, pastry, toasties, cakes, bread, jacket potatoes, frozen chips, croissants... So I have a lot more experimenting to do!

And here are pictures of some tasty things cooked in my Halo:

 Dusted fish and butternut squash

Roasted new potatoes

Roast potatoes

Chips